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Very nice collections of quotes I liked it very much so thanks for sharing very positive motivational quotes and keep posting. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

But so is thunder and lightning. This cup is expensive! Perhaps yours is watching television. There is no cure for curiosity. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. Smile because it happened. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. You will never get out of it alive.

Funny Quote Topics

Raise my hand. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Scott Fitzgerald. Very few people die past that age. Round is a shape. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States. I should have asked for a jury. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition. Paul Getty. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Sense Of Humor Quotes

Some fit better than others. It burns a lot of calories. You are what you eat. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out. After all, it kills you.

Just 35 Funny Quotes About Love - Funny Love Sayings from Movies, TV, Books and Celebs

A successful woman is one who can find such a man. The just-misses. The almost-never-happeneds. We spend so much time worrying about how the future is going to play out and not nearly enough time admiring the precious perfection of the present. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. Scott Peck. Just like everyone else. You may die of a misprint. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Now quiet! So the only difference between myself and the believers is that I am skeptical of 2, gods whereas they are skeptical of 2, gods.

I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. I have erased this line. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect. Then I want to move in with them. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. And life is a little weird.

And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love. Depression is when you lose yours. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job. It looks fun. Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.

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They try to kill and eat you. Bad breakups, fights and misunderstandings may arise and put a strain on things. But once you are able to work through it with your partner, you're also able to see the humor in the situation.

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After all, life would be a lot less interesting if we didn't operate that way. Could you imagine a humor-less society? That would be horrible. Thank heavens for comedians and their interesting outlook on everything that goes on in our world! Being able to evaluate hard situations and find a sort of silver lining somewhere within it all is truly a gift. And it's something we can all learn from, because it's important to remember not to take everything too seriously.


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Life is a lot easier to take on when everything isn't always so big and scary and you can chuckle at situations. There's a funny thing about love and relationships Thankfully, some of our favorite comedians can relate, and we found the best funny love quotes they've spoken or written to prove it. Not only are these phrases hilarious, they're percent spot-on, and from some of the world's most famous, influential people to date. Here are the 31 best short and funny love quotes from comedians that perfectly nail the craziness of dating, sex and relationships. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

But they don't really know me. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.